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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

How not to be influenced by people

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Great book for all of us who want to win friends. But what about the people who are being influenced too much? So I decided to try a Dale Carnegie on my own. For people who feel they are being influenced too much, in a sense that it compromises their independence.

We must have, if not complete, some reasonable amount of control over our judgement and opinions. It should be independent of other people's opinions and pressures. Others' thinking has to be kept in mind, but the final decision must be ours. In any matter whatsoever.

Sometimes more dominant people try, and are able to affect our actions indirectly by influencing the way we think, and what we think, and we tend to follow these pseudo-opinions, often attempting to associate ourselves with them, and in quest for recognition and identity. We stop using our intellect and block our minds. We don't use our intelligence to judge people and analyse situations. In this process we lose our credibility to other people, as they realize that you do not act as an individual, but as a puppet.

One solution that I can think of is that we must remain honest to ourselves. In whatever we do, say and think, we must be convinced that its correct. Not necessarily correct for everyone, but at least according to ourselves. Listen to everyone, but take your own decisions. Till we are honest to ourselves, no one can challenge us. Even if we do not have arguments to support our will, we have the confidence of our honesty and the peace of mind that comes with it.

PS: I know this has been a bad piece of writing. but I somehow could not manage any better today. :)

5 comments:

  1. rightly said...in the end its the peace of mind that matters..

    a nice quote said:an intelligent man seeks money,a wise man seeks happiness..

    and it wasn't that bad...completely readble..see i am not dead?

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  2. nice.
    u noe,u can expand it,actually...

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  3. good one dude......
    everyone is seeking for peace of mind...someone said "a healty mind leads to a healthy body" its all in the minds .....the grey matter present over our strong shoulders govern our actions.....if its cool u will rule.....

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  4. i feel... few more issues can be incorporated n dealt with in this matter only.. listening to ppl n den not analysing the pros n cons of wat de say hampers our thot process n we get carried away by odrs opinion or actions..

    but gud job done !!!

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  5. Hello it was rightly said. But let me re quote it we should never judge anyone. "if you want to judge a person or an action never be on the other end but be in the situation and then decide"-Swami Vivekananda Gyana Yoga.
    I was truly inspired by the quotes and being Honest is just not enough. Be in a state of total surrender towards GOD and let him lead you in which way you will Never repent for the actions.
    I would like to remind of a small conversation between Bheesma and Krishna. On the Ampa saya" Bheesma said" krishna if I would have known that war would come and destroy the whole kuru vamsha then i would not have taken the oath of celibacy. " Krishna says you would never have repented if you just take my name and then taken the decision."

    The reason is simple its Akarma.
    "Sarvam sri Krishna arpana mastu"

    ReplyDelete